Friday, June 09, 2006

FlyLady and Hey Tom

I've recently discovered two amazing web sites. I've added links to both. Reading each of these sites (they are linked) has changed my attitude profoundly in the last few weeks about cleaning the house, being (or not being) organized, my value as a person, and understanding the mysterious behavior of the men in my life.

Quite a tall order, eh?

FlyLady is a free service provided by a wonderful, life-affirming, and funny group of women who help hundreds of thousands of people improve the state of their homes, and by corrolary their mental, emotional and spiritual states. Their simple, cheery, practical reminders and advice have seeped into my consciousness to the extent that I suddenly find I have a COMPLETELY different perspective on my home, my gifts and flaws, and my relationship with myself. Because of this breakthrough I find that I am less fearful and more forgiving of myself and of others. I have new hope about creating a more manageable life and helping my son do the same thing.

I can't even describe how much this means to me. I have always lived with this perpetual sense of impending doom, and I am starting to realize that I don't have to feel that way. I'm not there yet, but I can see the light at the end of a (long) tunnel, and it's such a relief to know I can get out of the cycle of panic and disorganization and harsh self-criticism.

The other web site is called It is an advice website for people involved in the FlyLady system, run by a group of men who are related to the women running FlyLady. They attempt to explain the mysteries of the male psyche to the often bewildered women who write in, and also offer practical advice about tools, home repairs, relationships, shoes, the law, computer problems, you name it. Each of these guys has his own areas of expertise, and often several of them will weigh in on a particular letter. The tenor of their comments is unfailingly kind, compassionate, respectful, honest, informative and often hilarious. They just seem like really good men. Their explanations of the way men's minds work has been a revelation to me and has helped me so much just in the last couple of weeks in my relationship with my beloved fiance and son.

I'm surrounded by men! I live with two and work for two and am friends with a lot more. It's so nice to have a little peephole into their brains.

The paradigm shift this experience has given me is like the one when I had a child, or when I studied economics for the first time, or when I discovered the principles of AlAnon. I feel like I'm looking at the world through a new pair of glasses, and it looks much nicer.

The most amazing thing is that both services are completely FREE. It's incredible to me how much real, practical good they are doing for so many thousands of people - helping people help themselves, with kindness, encouragement, and homespun wisdom.

Thank you FlyLady! Thank you HeyTom! I'm so grateful that I found you.


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